I sought rest in you

rest from demons yet unnamed

you held me,

one of those am-I-conscious-or-am-I-dreaming states

it was real and incomparable

better than casual sex,

better than the kiss I’ve never had,

better than any morsel that’s passed through my lips

it made me wonder,

what have I been missing that makes my heart long for this?

is there a void I’ve filled with brokenness?

your hands, your eyes, your words

cradled me amidst strangers

and in a way,

we were strangers too

a woman and a girl

crafting a story,

a relationship that cannot be dictated by a Hallmark card

I wonder what do we look like?

someone thought we were mother and daughter once

I didn’t know what to say

something tender in my heart perished

only to be reborn again

I fell silent

listening to the ebb and flow, everyday life/death trauma

I don’t understand

I can’t comprehend

my brain is indecipherable

I suppose in the realms of human love

it doesn’t really matter

it makes no difference

if I can’t place a label on waves that seize me

I love you, that’s all

I realize we’ll never be kin

you are not my mother,

I am not your daughter

not even in a life lived before us

I know

I have a mother who took me in

I have another who gave me life

then I have you

what are you?

you are that story I can’t explain

unconstrained, out of focus

neither words,

nor flashing neon lights above our heads

could make sense of this common thread,

uncovered

sometimes I wonder,

do you regret taking me up on your shoulders?

you are a tributary,

trickling forth into conversations so easily,

delivering me back to that place of vulnerability,

an ocean where you found me

yet your name struggles on my lips,

swimming upstream in my throat

it’s the ebb and flow of missing you,

a certain tenderness pulsing beneath my outward appearance

no words,

no justice done,

no definition.

our otherworldly connection,

Divine Intervention

it grows stronger.

sometimes I think obsession torments me,
in its maliciously subtle ways
it ties my mind in chains
coaxes my brain into a delusion that
often protests but always obeys…

His face cannot be memorized, only dissolved with time.
If I had stored his essence in my mind,
rather than my heart,
would his image remain?

In rare glimpses,
I am able to imagine him again.
It’s like electricity running static behind my eyeballs,
a kaleidoscope afterimage.

These random, fleeting
dreams of him are a lovely thing.
Colors, contours, shapes and lines
it’s like stargazing of the mind.

the words it hungers to speak

My eyes are cages,

the world gets locked inside

Love is starved to bare bones,

and isolation thrives.

One cannot simply emaciate

Mutism.

lines stolen by a quiet, unassuming marauder

she’s found herself, a woman of few words.

what happened to a voice?

transmigrated to another- the ocean, maybe?

something inanimate but seemingly restless

with the uncanny ability to penetrate the heart and hypnotize the mind

let her voice rumble in your head-

haunt you.

a woman of few words, they say.

but I say, does the ocean sleep?

do the waves fall silent?

Neither do her words lay idle…

I want to tilt the world on its axis,

and drip sunlight through the openings of the gaping seas.

Our lives have intertwined like colors in a kaleidoscope.

Peer through the lens, find all the treasure that lies within us,
Discover the treasure that lies within you…

I wish I could sense God speaking to me.

I wish I could write poetry.

I wish I could laugh out loud in public.

I wish I could be happy with myself.

I wish I could wake up as someone beautiful.

I wish I could love you without letting you go…

She is one with the sky.
The stars inhale; exhale, with the rise and fall of her chest.
The moon guards her in his indigo vastness.
She wants to bleed, she wants to feel,
She wants to become the rhythmic pulse of the earth…