Tag Archives: birthday

Adoption Thoughts.

The Fitzpatrick family’s adoption story melts my heart. I cry every time I read the blog. Their new little girl from China, Sarah Grace, is beautiful.

However, it is so heartbreaking that such a young child has had to suffer from starvation and malnutrition. Praise the Lord that she has been rescued from that.

Adoption is such an interesting topic (or so I believe it is, anyway.) I hope God blesses mothers who selflessly give their babies to loving families, when they know they are unable to take care of them themselves. This act of love and trust means so much. I can’t imagine what it would be like to give up a baby…

I say all of this to reflect on my own adoption.
This isn’t something I generally talk about because:
1)  It’s personal. 2) It’s not that big of a deal. 3) Honestly, who really cares that I was adopted besides me?? 4) It is a little upsetting to one of my immediate family members.
But I’m writing a little about it now.

My birthday is coming up, and occasionally I wonder if the date is significant to my birth mother. Or does she not even think about it at all? Truthfully, I’m not offended either way. I was her only baby, she gave me life, but she knew I couldn’t be her daughter. Why, I am not sure. I’ll probably never know, but that is okay. It’s really not my business to know.

I wonder a little about 11/16/93. What happened after I was born. I want to believe we had a moment in between…In between all of the strife and commotion and before my parents picked me up to take me to my forever home. This is cheesy, maybe, but what if we had one final mother-baby moment right before it was all over?

Maybe she didn’t feel any emotional attachment to me at all. That would be okay, too. At least that way it might have been less emotionally painful for her to give me away.

I read a story about a little girl whose father died in 9/11 when she was an unborn baby. She keeps a sonogram photo of herself under her bed and looks at it constantly, because she knows that it is the only picture of herself her father has ever seen. She never knew him.
While I am not comparing my life to this little girl’s, I can’t help but feel compassion and empathy towards her. This story tugs at my heart. I know that I am not having to deal with the fact that one of my biological parents has passed; however, I do feel a slight connection with this girl. The last time my birth mother saw me was at the hospital. My biological father was not even in the picture.

Anyway… If you read this far down in the blog post, I’m flattered. Thank you for reading my thoughts. I sincerely hope nothing I said was rude or offensive in any way. If I did say something that bothered you, please contact me or leave it in the comments.

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